In this week’s Torah portion, Vayehi, the patriarch Jacob dies. When Joseph’s brothers learn of their father’s death, they become nervous: what if Joseph decides now to pay them back for all the ways they mistreated him? But Joseph says, “Have no fear. Am I a substitute for God? Besides, although you intended me harm, God intended it for good.” (Genesis 50:20)

Joseph has been through the wringer: thrown in a pit, sold into slavery, cast into jail, even forgotten and abandoned there. But that’s not where he focuses his memory. By this point in his story, he has the sense that everything that befell him was for a reason: so that he would be in a position to rescue the children of Israel (and the nation of Egypt) from famine. 

Joseph’s story is the classic example of “descent for the sake of ascent.” Our mystics understand this as a spiritual teaching: when we make mistakes we “fall away” from God or from our best selves, and that very falling can be what spurs us to try again and do better next time. Every mistake becomes an invitation to teshuvah. I love that. 

But Joseph’s falling and rising are a bit more literal than that. Down into Egypt and into the dungeons; up to become Pharaoh’s right hand man. Everything seemingly bad that happens to him puts him in the place where he needs to be in order for something better to unfold. As it says in Mishlei (Proverbs 24;16), “Seven times the righteous person falls, and gets back up.”

(Or as the Buddhist proverb has it, “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”)

Though I don’t know if Joseph could have said “God intended it for good” to his brothers when he was still in tight straits. Even if one can look back and say, “it worked out for the best,” one might not feel that way in the moment. I also think “Something good might come out of this” is an attitude one can try to have, but is never a useful thing to say to someone who’s suffering.

The mishna teaches (Brakhot 9) that we should bless the bad things that happen to us, even as we bless the good ones. I don’t think this means, “Thank You God for the fire that just burned down my house.”  It could mean something like the line from Japanese poet Mizuta Masahide (d. 1723), “My barn having burned down, I found I could see the moon.”

I first encountered that line of poetry when I was in college, and I thought it was beautiful. I still do. Though I have experienced enough loss that it lands differently with me now. I’ve learned that we can’t rush the transition from the experience of loss to personal growth or meaning-making. And sometimes we can’t find a way to make meaning; the loss goes too deep.

Maybe the idea of blessing the bad things hinges on a different understanding of l’hodot, which I usually render as “to thank.” Hat tip to my friend and colleague R. Sonja Keren Pilz, who brought this teaching forward for me this week as we met with others in Bayit’s Liturgical Arts Working Group to brainstorm toward an upcoming collaboration on gratitude. 

She pointed out that the Hebrew word l’hodot with different prepositions after it can mean either to be grateful, or to admit and acknowledge. Sometimes we can genuinely feel grateful for where life has brought us. And sometimes we can’t reach gratitude. Sometimes the world feels broken and we can’t access that inward upwelling of thankfulness – it’s just not available to us.

That’s when the other definition of l’hodot comes into play. Maybe we don’t always need to be happy about whatever’s unfolding. There can be a kind of blessing simply in recognizing and naming what is. God, the world is literally on fire right now. God, our nation feels fragile and divided right now. I can’t thank God for those things, but I can acknowledge that they are true. 

Authentic spiritual life asks us to be real, even when something difficult is happening. And once we make it to the other side, then maybe we can seek out some way to make meaning from our experiences, as Joseph did. For me, one of the purposes of spiritual practice is being able to feel – as we read of Joseph when he was in prison – that God* is “with us” even when life is hard. 

(God* = whatever that word means to you today: God far above or deep within, or if that word doesn’t work for you, try Meaning or Justice or Truth...) Whatever may be unfolding, regular spiritual practice can help us remember that we’re not in this alone. We have that Presence our tradition names as God. And we have each other.

I don’t know how to make meaning from the horrifying wildfires we’ve witnessed this week from afar. There is nothing I can say that would make any of this ok. Psalm 92, the psalm for Shabbat, says tov l’hodot l’Adonai ,“It is good to give thanks to God,” but that might ring hollow in a week with so much destruction and loss. So I’m leaning into the other meaning of l’hodot.

We can admit and acknowledge and recognize: this catastrophe is caused, and compounded, by climate crisis. It is intensified by human choices and policies. And therefore it is aleinu, it is upon us / it is our responsibility, to do everything in our power to shift those choices and policies, and to take care of our fellow human beings as best we can. 

A Prayer During the Southern California Fires 2025

by Rabbi Nicole Guzik

Ribono shel Olam, Master of the Universe, protect those impacted by the devastating Southern California fires. Guide them towards shelter and safety. As family, friends, neighbors and fellow Angelenos experience physical and emotional loss, may we turn towards each other with open homes and open hearts.

God, spread a blanket of security over the firefighters and first responders that serve our community. Grant them strength and courage and may each one come home safely to those they love.

Let us be reminded of how to help one another. Holy One of Blessing, give us increased compassion and an abundance of kindness that we may extend our hands and hearts to those in need. As the prophet Elijah experienced, “There was a great and mighty wind, splitting mountains and shattering rocks by God’s power, but God was not in the wind. After the wind—an earthquake; but God was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake—fire; but God was not in the fire. And after the fire—a small, still voice.”

God’s small, still voice runs through each one of us. May God’s voice compel us to reach out to each other and find pathways that lead to hope and ultimately, peace for all in need. Amen.

This is the d'varling that I offered at Kabbalat Shabbat services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

That's one of my contributions to a new collection of liturgical poetry and artwork arising out of the avodah blessing of the Shabbat amidah, co-created by members of Bayit's Liturgical Arts Working Group. (I'll enclose my prayer below in plaintext for those who need it in that format.) 

We begin our offering by asking some of the questions this piece of liturgy prompts for us:

Is service the same as prayer? Is all work a form of service? How do we (want to) serve today? These questions, and others, animate our collective offering on the theme of avodah. We hope that our offering serves to open up your deep questions, too.  

You can find the whole offering here: Avodah / Service. There's work by Trisha Arlin, Joanne Fink, R. Sonja Keren Pilz, R. David Zaslow, and me.  I love how we each chose different facets of the prayer to unpack, riff on, and uplift. As always, I think that together our contributions make up something that's greater than the sum of its parts. 

I serve today

I serve today by turning off the news.

I serve by refusing to blame everyone or anyone.

I serve by re-training myself not to check 

to find out what terrible thing has happened 

in the last fifteen minutes. I serve by affirming

it’s okay to feel joy even in times like these. 

By taking teenagers to the nursing home

and afterward praising the adolescent boy

who answered the repeated questions kindly

as though each time were the first.

I serve by admitting I don’t have the answers.

By promising I’m here for what you need

and meaning it. By reminding us to focus

on the horizon, the fixed point, our hope for better

that we may not live to reach. And that’s okay.

Judaism was here long before we were.

Someday our childrens’ childrens’ children

might cross the border into promise –

into lions lying down with lambs, into vines 

and fig trees and enough water to grow them,

and no one ever again will take our rights away,

no one ever again will make us afraid.

--Rachel Barenblat

There is a mental image I'm carrying with me. A mother, a bit younger than me, sitting on a folding chair in front of a cement wall. She is holding a toddler who clings to her like a life raft. Her eyes are closed and exhaustion is written in every line of her face. Another night of the alarms going off, the family racing to the bomb shelter, the frightened child trying to sleep in their mother's arms.

Another mental image: a desperate father holding a malnourished child, pleading on Bluesky for the aid that would enable him to maybe get a loaf of bread. There are so many people like this that they run together in my mind. I'm not proud of that. I want to be able to say that I take every person's suffering seriously. I know that every human being is a spark of God, made in the divine image.

The mother holding her child is Israeli. The father holding his child is Palestinian. I know one of them personally, and read her Facebook updates often. The other is a stranger to me. I ache for both of them. Their situations are not the same, but both are suffering. Their fates are bound up together. As a recent Forward article notes, neither of these peoples is leaving that beloved land. 

I know that Israelis are lucky to have bomb shelters. (I wish Gazans had them too.) I also know that doesn't erase the trauma from the barrage of rockets, coming now from the Houthis. At least I think that's who's bombing now. It's hard to keep track. And it's easy to feel like everyone hates Jews anyway, so does it matter who's trying to kill us this time? Isn't someone always trying to kill us? 

Some people hate Israel because they hate Jews, and they would prefer that we not exist at all. (Sometimes that takes the form of actively trying to wipe us out, which is an old story but apparently one that is evergreen.) Some people abhor the actions of Israel's government, or the actions of several consecutive Israeli governments. (Some of the most ardent among that group are Israeli Jews.) 

Some say: but the occupation, and the brutality of the war on Gaza, mean that Israelis deserve to be bombed. And some say: but October 7, and the first and second intifadas, mean that Palestinians deserve to be bombed. And some say: empathy for "those people" just normalizes evil. My heart rebels against all of those views. No one deserves this. This is not the way the world should be. 

My heart breaks for everyone living under fire. My heart breaks for every Palestinian parent trying to keep their child warm and safe and comforted during a famine, in winter, in war -- and for every Israeli parent trying to keep their child warm and safe and comforted in a bomb shelter.  Anguish on behalf of suffering parents and children is not partisan. This suffering doesn't nullify that suffering.

I keep thinking about every parent who is terrified for a child, or trying to comfort a child, or God forbid grieving the loss of a child. I think about the Prayer of the Mothers and Women Wage Peace. I think about the Prayer of Mothers for Life and Peace by Sheikha Iktisam Mahameed and Rabbi Tamar Elad-Appelbaum. I know I can only imagine, from a distance, what parents in that place endure.

The thought I keep coming back to is: no one should live like this. Surely every Israeli and every Palestinian has PTSD -- not just from the last 456 days but also from the years that preceded them. No one should live (or die) like this. And yet countless thousands are living and dying like this. I put my hopes in the coexistence activists of Standing Together, though their dream feels distant.

I didn't want to begin a new year without acknowledging that the suffering in the Middle East is a constant background hum. In the words of Yehuda HaLevi (d. 1141), my heart is in the east. Of course, 1000 years ago he was yearning for a Jewish return to Zion; it's different now. But the constantly of the yearning remains. How I yearn for all of the peoples of that land to live in safety and peace. 

There's a stillness at the end of the year. In my home right now that's literal: my son is at his father's for a few days, so it's quiet enough to hear the hum of the heating system trying its best. (Usually there is a soundtrack of bass practice and YouTube.) But it's an existential quiet, also. A hunkering-down. I am wrapped in blankets. My soul feels like a small ember protected by cupped hands. 

I read an essay this morning by Rabbi Jay Michaelson titled Check In on Your Elephant. He means the mental elephant in the room, the anxiety or fear or whatever we each are feeling about the next four years. He writes about how basic mindfulness can help us "notice the seed of a political thought before it germinates into poison ivy." I like how he writes about pursuing truth as a spiritual practice. 

I laughed out loud at his description of getting comfortable with the itchy feeling of wanting to click over to the news constantly. "It me," as the kids say. Over and over again during the day I catch myself wondering, I wonder what new outrage has been reported, I should go look. But should I really? Does it help anyone, or does it just ratchet up the anxiety and leave me marinating in cortisol? 

(It's the latter.) Jay proposes that "ordinary people can resist, simply by continuing to live our lives. We can and should continue to build communities we want to live in that are inclusive, welcoming of intelligence and culture and creativity and, gasp, diversity." We can and should and must. It doesn't feel like "enough," but then again, what would feel like enough in times like these? 

Mit en drinen, amidst everything, here comes Chanukah. I read a good essay by Talia Lavin about Chanukah (Gilt by Assonciation; find it beneath the photo of the panel from the Arch of Titus.) Talia knows how to turn a phrase, and her essay is worth reading -- not least because she unpacks and explores many of the elements we associate with Chanukah and shows where they came from.

But one thing she doesn't talk about in that essay is the theme of enoughness, which for me is the most resonant element of the Chanukah story. Yes, even the letters on the dreidl are borrowed from somewhere else and the motto "A Great Miracle Happened (T)Here" was mapped onto them. But the miracle that in our sacred story, what little we had was enough...? That's still real and sustaining.

I don't need the miracle of the oil to be a historical truth, any more than I need the Exodus to be a historical truth. What matters to me is that since time immemorial these are the stories we tell about who we are. As a people we have known tight straits, and we choose service over servitude. As a people we choose the leap of faith of creating light, even when our spiritual reserves feel low.

It is easy to feel as though nothing is enough. Nothing we can do to protect human rights feels like enough. Nothing we can do to welcome and uplift and protect the immigrant or the stranger feels like enough. Nothing we can do to mitigate the climate crisis feels like enough. Chanukah teaches otherwise. Chanukah says: our souls are God's candles, and together we bring light into the world.

The other text that is rattling around my mind and heart today is Katherine May's Wintering, which I have been slowly reading over the last few months. It took me a while to get into it, maybe because there's so much I want to resist about winter -- both its reality and its metaphorical meanings. But there is a lot of wisdom here, if I take it slowly and give myself time to let the words sink in.

My favorite line (at least today) comes toward the end of the book, and it is this: 

"Like the robin, we sometimes sing to show how strong we are, and we sometimes sing in hope of better times. We sing either way."

Jacob had twelve sons, and his favorite was Joseph, to whom he gave that “technicolor dreamcoat.” (R. Danya Ruttenberg argues that it might have actually been more like a stripey princess dress.) Joseph recounts dreams of his family bowing down to him, which might be why his brothers can’t stand him. They consider killing him. They sell him into slavery.

In Egypt, he’s purchased by Potiphar. That’s when Torah first tells us that God is with him. (Gen. 39:2) Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce him, and then falsely accuses him of seducing her. He’s thrown in prison, where again, Torah tells us that God is with him. (Gen. 39:21) 

Abarbanel (15th c.) understands “God was with him” to mean that God was always in his mind. I noticed this year that Torah only begins to say God is with him once he’s in tough circumstances. Was God “not there” before, or was he just not aware of God until then? Did something change within him that enabled him to live with awareness of the holy? 

This week a friend pointed me to a sermon given by Doug Muder at a Unitarian Universalist church. He starts off with a metaphor I heard a lot last month: waiting to find out the election results felt like waiting for the results of a biopsy. And then he tells the story of his wife’s literal cancer journey, offering wisdom about living with uncertainty… which is something we all do. 

Facing a miserable situation like chemotherapy, there’s a temptation to say: okay, I’m going to put my head down and bull my way through this, and once I make it to the other side of this obstacle there will be happier days to come. But there’s no guarantee, and cancer makes that very clear. It’s possible that this is what the rest of life will be. What do we do with that? 

Doug writes: [W]e developed a practice that we eventually started calling “How is this day not going to suck?” Looking at the particular opportunities and limitations of each individual day, what could we do to appreciate being alive? 

Sometimes they could go for a walk. Sometimes his wife was weak from the chemo but they could go for a drive. Sometimes he could read to her in bed. They found what they could appreciate about being alive. 

Maybe because I read Doug’s sermon alongside the parsha, I thought of Joseph. He literally descends, over and over again: into a pit, into slavery, into prison. By any reasonable metric, things just keep getting worse. But as things decline, Torah tells us that God is with him. Another way to say that might be: he found access to hope. He found meaning. He found gratitude. 

I know that many of us are feeling anxiety and fear. Fear of stronger storms and more wildfires amid the rejection of climate science. Fear of the resurgence of diseases like polio and measles amid the rejection of vaccines. Fear of school shootings, like the one this week. Fear of bans on the healthcare that we and our loved ones need. Fear of discrimination and loss of civil rights. 

And I know that in many of our lives there are also personal challenges and difficulties. A diagnosis, or injustice in the workplace, or a sick family member. Sometimes these are invisible to everyone around us, which makes them feel even more difficult – “I’m going through this and no one even knows!” Like Joseph, we might feel that our circumstances are getting worse. 

So what can we learn from Joseph in this week’s parsha? It looks to me like what got Joseph through these downturns was the fact that, as Torah says, God* – asterisk: whatever that word means to each of us: God far above or God deep within, a relational God or a transcendent God, or maybe not “God” at all but rather Love or Justice or Meaning – God* was with him. 

And God* is with us, if we allow that to be true. If we notice. If we cultivate awareness of the holy. The Kotzker rebbe asked, “Where is God? Wherever we let God in.” When we choose hope, seek meaning, and cultivate gratitude, that’s one way to understand God being “with us.” We experience the world differently when we make a practice of those things.

A community member pointed out to me this week that African Americans are not new to thriving despite injustice, and can be our teachers. In the words of Rev. Gerald Durley, a contemporary of Martin Luther King: “I talk to people who are depressed… and I remind them, this is not our first [struggle].” We shall overcome someday is a fierce expression of hope. 

Hope is a discipline, and we can always engage in it, even if life has dealt us the worst hand of cards. Meaning is something we make, and in the words of Maria Popova, we “make meaning most readily, most urgently, in times of confusion and despair.” Gratitude is a practice, and every day gives us opportunities to get better at it. (“Yippee, another effing growth opportunity.”)

All of these come with the risk of spiritual bypassing, using spirituality to pretend away brokenness. Suleika Jaouad writes beautifully about this: both about seeking small joys during cancer treatment, and about the spiritual danger of toxic positivity. But lately it seems to me that many of us are erring on the side of feeling the brokenness too much, rather than too little. 

I invite us to be like Joseph. Even in tight circumstances, we can experience God’s presence with us. We can seek hope, and meaning, and gratitude. We can ask, “How is today not going to suck?” We can help each other ask, “How is today not going to suck?” – because sometimes when we can’t find hope for ourselves, we can find it for someone else. 

This is the balancing act: being present to what is, even when “what is” is difficult – and cultivating an appreciation of how lucky we are to be alive. And, like Joseph interpreting dreams for his fellow prisoners, we can attune ourselves to how we can be there for each other. Often helping someone else turns out to be the best way to lift ourselves up, too. 

May we take strength in that work in all the days to come… starting now, with the winter solstice and the return of the sun’s light.

This is the d'varling I offered at Kabbalat Shabbat services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

When you’re dizzy, fix your eyes on the horizon. Find a faraway point and focus attention there. I don’t remember learning this; it feels like something I’ve always known. I suspect this is a piece of wisdom that came from my parents. As a kid I used to get queasy in the backseat of their big old Cadillac. (This was in Texas, back when gasoline was cheap and no one worried about the climate.) They must have taught me this trick. Somehow it can smooth the bumps of the ride. 

I’m spending a lot of time looking at the horizon these days. We live surrounded by hills, and I love admiring the spot where they meet the heavens. I’ve taken a near-infinite number of photographs of the sky at the horizon as it changes. Lately, gazing at the horizon feels like my childhood exercise of seeking balance and inner stillness in a moving car. The world is moving fast, the road is full of turns, and it is difficult to trust that we’re headed in the right direction.

So as I look at the place where sky kisses the hills, it becomes my fixed point when the world is spinning. I look at the landscape and I think about what lasts longer than we do. I think about how Judaism was around long before any of us were, and how it will be here long after we’re gone. I think about the slow arc of human progress as we try to bend the moral universe toward justice. We’re not the first generation to struggle with how long that’s taking.

Long ago, chronicled in parashat Vayetzei, the patriarch Jacob journeyed from Beersheva toward Haran. He stopped for the night at sundown, and he placed a stone under his head. He dreamed of a ladder planted in the earth with angels going up and down. When he woke, he declared that God was in that place (Gen. 28:16) and he hadn’t known. Spiritual life is a series of these awakenings. We lose sight of what matters, and then we regain it. And again.

And again. Judaism has long embraced the tension between imagining God in particular holy places (e.g. Beth El, the spot where Jacob had his revelation – or the Kotel – or the Temple Mount – or Jerusalem – or the Land of Promise writ large) and imagining that God is everywhere. In Isaiah’s words, “All the earth is full of God’s glory.” (Isaiah 6:3) After the fall of the Temple our mystics imagined the Shekhinah, God’s indwelling presence, in exile with us.

Where is God? The Hasidic master known as the Kotzker rebbe famously answered, wherever we let God in. Jacob figured that out: “God is in this place, and I did not know.” God is always in this place, even in our places of uncertainty. It’s easier for me to see God in the fixed point on the horizon that helps me stay stable and ethically upright. I struggle sometimes to remember that God can also be found in every stone along the twisting path. In this place? Really? 

I find comfort in looking toward the horizon. It’s like looking toward the messianic future of a world redeemed: I don’t for an instant imagine that humanity will get there in my lifetime, but it’s a direction, an orientation. This year I’m trying to learn better how to look down at my own feet on the circuitous path. I want to seek (even if I can’t see) God here in this place. Even when it feels like we’re going the wrong way – even like the whole world is going the wrong way.

Lately a lot of you have told me that you feel like the world is going the wrong way. Some of the rights we take for granted here, like the right to reproductive health care or the right to access the healthcare our doctors prescribe for our children, no longer hold true across the country. Measles seems to be returning; polio might do the same. The climate crisis is in everyone’s backyard, including ours – the Butternut fire in Great Barrington was only just contained. 

It’s so easy to get bogged down in every injustice. So much is not as it should be, which cues up the existential carsickness. But if all I ever do is look at the horizon, I’m not here and now. I’m projecting myself into an imagined future, or maybe into an imagined past. Neither one of those helps anyone. I don’t want to just be a passenger, gazing at the sky. Jewishly I also feel an obligation to do something: to feed somebody hungry, to comfort someone who’s afraid…

I think that’s the real work. It’s ok to feel afraid. And, we need to help each other move beyond the paralysis of fear and instead do something to help someone in need. Find one small good thing you can do for someone in the coming week. This week maybe it’s standing up for trans kids who need support. Donate to the ACLU. Connect with the Reform Action Center, the tikkun olam arm of the Reform movement, to support the LGBTQ community here and elsewhere. 

God is in the fixed point of distant steadiness and is wrapped around us as we traverse every switchback. God is in our hopes for a better future, and God is also in this deeply imperfect present. I think if we can really hold on to that, we might feel centered even when the world feels upside-down. “God is in this place, and I did not know” – I think when we help each other, when we stand up for each other, together we manifest God’s presence in the place where we are. 

This is the d'varling I offered at Shabbat morning services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

Reading the news
is like
waking into
still having
dead parents.

Microplastics
and wars
persist.
Permafrost melts.
Hillsides burn.

Soon, in charge
of health:
a guy
who doesn't trust
vaccines.

No limbic system
was made
for this.
I am
a cracked jar.

I don't like
what I've woven
from my outrage,
every ugly headline
a bold slash
of the wrong color.
What dissonant plaid,
plasticine fabric
dyed with arguments
about who counts.
Righteous indignation
too easily curdles.
Every choice
lays a thread.
Source of Mercy --
Shekhinah wearing
embroidery glasses,
Your golden scissors
like the ones
my mother used --
untie my tangles.

Plasticine fabric. I just read the fascinating essay Ghana Must Go, so those ubiquitous bags are on my mind. 

Arguments / about who counts. This moment in the United States seems full of those: are immigrants fully human? Are trans people? (Yes and yes, obviously.)

Every choice. In the words of the Maggid of Kozhnitz on Chayyei Sarah, "The days of our lives are garments for the soul." 

Source of Mercy... untie my tangles. See אנא בכח, part of Friday night liturgy.

The hills in my back yard, a few weeks ago. They were still colorful then.

"I lift my eyes up to the mountains. From whence comes my help?" (Ps. 121) I am fortunate enough to live in a valley ringed by mountains. I remember when I moved here, thirty-mumble years ago, and I said that to one of my hall-mates in my dorm. She was from Alaska, where there are real mountains. She graciously refrained from laughing. Compared with Denali, the Berkshires aren't mountains.

To me -- coming from south Texas, where the closest thing I knew to a mountain was Enchanted Rock, the pink granite batholith where the seventh grade once went camping -- these hills are miraculous. Yes, there are actual mountains in west Texas, seven hours away by car. Those didn't feel local to me any more than did Colorado, where we went by plane. It's different to live surrounded by hills.

They cradle the valley. They make the horizon feel like an embrace. I take considerable comfort in that. I watch them change colors over the course of the year. They've just put on their late autumn garb: in the distance they look light purple, with patches of dark green where the evergreens have sway. It's not as dramatic as their early autumn splendor, or summer greenery, but it's still beautiful.

The hills remind me that I am trying to take a long view. Not a geologic view, but a generational one. I suspect the rights to our own bodies that we lost a few years ago will not be restored in my lifetime. A few days ago I saw someone comment online that right now feels like living on the coast and bracing for a hurricane, knowing that it will cause untold devastation, not knowing yet exactly how.

How do I minister when so many are devastated and afraid? How do I help those who are not afraid understand those who are? Sometimes I can't wrap my own mind around the harm that I fear is coming. How do I serve from here? One answer is in trying to take the long view. Humanity will persist, and Judaism will persist, though any one of us might not. I try to sit with that knowledge every day.

"My help is from the Holy Blessed One, creator of the heavens and the earth." (Ps. 121) I think of the old joke: "I sent two boats and a helicopter!" But we are the boats and the helicopter. God helps my heart keep beating, at least for now, but what I do with them are up to me. What can any of us do but keep lifting up whoever we can, rescuing whoever we can, however we can?

Attached to the filing cabinet in my office there is a quarter of a piece of posterboard. On it are the following words: “I want to connect people with God.” I wrote them as my rabbinic mission statement fifteen years ago. I was at a retreat for emerging Jewish and Muslim spiritual leaders, and I was very pregnant, which is how I know exactly when this happened. We were asked to write down one phrase that captured why we were going into this work, and that was mine. 

When I was ordained a rabbi almost fourteen years ago, I received a blessing from Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser for stepping into a lineage of teachers. It begins with Moses on Sinai giving the Torah to Joshua, who gave it to the elders, who gave it to the prophets, who gave it to the men of the great assembly. I received another blessing that day offering a parallel lineage that began with Miriam, sister of Moses – a lineage that was lost in history and then recovered again.

I was charged with teaching and preaching and accompanying those whom I serve in a way that brings healing and uplifts wholeness. And a few months later I signed a brit, a sacred covenant, with the first of many lay leaders whom I’ve had the privilege of serving alongside. We’ve updated the brit a bit, but it’s still fundamentally the same: I’m here to serve and to lead, to teach and to uplift, to accompany you as a community and as individuals in whatever life brings.

Looking back on thirteen years of service, what I remember most are intimate moments of connection. An unveiling with only a handful of mourners present. A baby naming around someone’s kitchen table. A pastoral visit with someone who was preparing to let go of this life. The big moments matter too, like Kol Nidre this year with the sanctuary packed full, or for that matter Kol Nidre during the first Covid year when we were all sheltering in place at home…

But in the kaleidoscope of images that arise for me, many are from one-on-one or small group settings. My brit is with CBI as a whole community, and yet I most often experience it as a hundred individual little covenants: with you, and you, and you... 

I still want to connect y’all with God. Though these days I always put an asterisk after “the G-word,” as a reminder that if that word doesn’t work for you, you can substitute words that do. Maybe you want to connect with meaning, with justice, with hope. Maybe you want to connect with our traditions, with the generations that came before us and the ones that will come after. Maybe you want to connect with something that endures even when the world feels bleak.

Maybe you want to connect with Torah. With the Five Books, lovingly handwritten in these beautiful two hundred year old scrolls that need our repair. With commentaries on them, and commentaries on the commentaries. With Jewish legal writings, or ethical writings, or poetry, or music – all of those are also Torah, which means all of those point “in” or “up” or “back” to the Source of All creativity, the source of love and justice in this world we’ve been blessed to inherit.

Maybe you want to ask big questions, like, “Why?” and also “How?” Maybe you want to know how to make meaning when life feels full of grief, or how to stay grounded when life feels full of joy. Maybe you want to find meaning in the passage of time, the holiness of the seasons, our changing planet, the waxing and waning moon, the stages of a human life. Maybe you want to know how the world could have changed so much, or why it hasn’t changed nearly enough. 

To be clear, I don’t personally have the answers to all of these questions. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the answers to any of them. But I know deep in my bones that Jewish tradition does. And I know that I have the best job in the world, because I get to help you find your answers. And because we’re all growing and changing all the time, sometimes the answers that speak to us need to change as we do… which means the work I get to do is literally never done.

The work of spiritual life is never done. The work of becoming is never done. As long as we’re here, we’re growing and changing – or we can be. My covenant with each of you is a promise to accompany you in whatever life brings your way. 

The verses I chanted this morning also speak of a brit, a covenant between Avraham and Avimelekh. There’s an exchange of some female sheep, which is slightly funny because my given name means ewe. Avimelekh agrees that a nearby well was in fact dug by Avraham – which of course our mystics understand both as a physical well that delivered much-needed water, and as a spiritual wellspring for Torah’s neverending flow of wisdom and insight.

And then Avraham plants an eshel, a tamarisk tree. What’s interesting to me is, our sages don’t exactly agree on what the tree represents. The well is clearly both water and Torah, but the tree might represent new beginnings, or maybe deep roots. Tamarisks can grow almost anywhere, making them akin to the Jewish people. Rashi says maybe the eshel was an orchard, or an inn. Both are symbols of hospitality, which is a quality our mystics often attribute to Avraham. 

I love the idea of planting a tree to mark a covenant. To the Board, please don’t worry, I am not planting another tree on our grounds. I saw how much work went into watering our tiny orchard of baby fruit trees! I’m thinking about a metaphorical tree. A tree is a lot like a community, it turns out. Both need deep roots in order to flourish. Both need an outer growing edge that’s open to new ideas and change, and deep inner rings that record and remember. And both offer shelter. 

My blessing for us, at this celebration of thirteen years of service, is this: like Avraham’s tamarisk, may we be shelter for each other when shelter is needed.  May we sink our roots deep into the aquifer of tradition so that our hearts and souls are nourished. And may we bear the many fruits of sacred community, including spiritual authenticity, readiness to take care of each other when times are tough, and readiness to celebrate together and lift each other up.

This is the d'varling I offered at Shabbat morning services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires as we celebrated my first 13 years of service (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָ''ה֙ אֶל־אַבְרָ֔ם לֶךְ־לְךָ֛ מֵאַרְצְךָ֥ וּמִמּֽוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וּמִבֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַרְאֶֽךָּ׃

יהו’’ה said to Abram, “Lekh-lekha / Go forth from your native land and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you. (Gen. 12:1)

Torah uses many different names for God. This is considered the most holy of God’s names, the one that seems to enfold all possible permutations of Was / Is / Will Be. This is God-Who-Is-Becoming, God Whom we mirror in our human capacity for growth and change. That’s the voice that says here to Abram, lekh-lekha: there’s a journey ahead of you.

This is not the journey any of us hoped to be on right now. I’ve spoken this week with so many of us who feel shellshocked and reeling. Me, too. We’re mourning the loss of a future where immigrants are welcomed, where no kid goes hungry at lunchtime, where climate science and vaccines are honored and understood, where trans and queer people can live without fear. 

And so much more. Our world changed this week in ways I know I can’t yet wholly imagine. One of the most useful things I’ve read in the past few days was an article in Scientific American called Election Grief is Real: Here’s How to Cope. It’s an interview with therapist Pauline Boss, who originated the concept of ambiguous grief in the late 1970s. Pauline says:

We should normalize the anger and the sadness. I think we jump too quickly to pathologize emotions that are scary. I think you need to be patient with yourself if you’re feeling angry, sad, grieving right now. I think that’s a normal reaction to a surprising outcome and an outcome that, in our view, is going backward and not forward.

So accept your feelings. Know there’s no closure to grief. Know you had a loss.

We need to take our time in feeling this – even though frankly it feels terrible and none of us want to dwell on it. But a seismic national shift of this magnitude is going to have enormous impacts, on us and on the world, and if we pretend that away we won’t be in a position to navigate those impacts wisely or well. So the first thing I can offer is: let ourselves feel.

And then here’s a subtle inner shift, when we are up to it. We don’t want to dwell on these feelings, but we can dwell in them – and God* dwells in them with us. (Whatever that word means to each of us right now: source of meaning or justice or hope.) Another of our tradition’s names for God is Shekhinah, meaning God Who Dwells In this broken world… and in us. 

When I say that God dwells in us, I mean possibility lives in us. Hope lives in us. Kindness lives in us. Truth and justice live in us. No amount of cruelty or coercion, bullying or gaslighting, can take these away. They are our birthright, and they are eternal. This is one of Judaism’s core tools for navigating difficult times: knowing that we are part of something that endures.

Pauline Boss goes on to say, one risk of grief is that it can immobilize us. We need to help each other forestall that possibility. She says, “You need to do something active in order to deal with a situation you can’t control… It will help to be active, not just to sit back and grumble and not just to lash out either. Action is psychologically what helps when you’re feeling helpless.” 

This is true from the micro scale to the macro one. One night this week my teen and I baked cookies for one of the kids in his Shakespeare play. It was tangible and grounding: breathing in the scent of chocolate, feeling dough under our hands. And it brought unexpected joy to another kid’s afternoon. Little things like this matter a lot right now. Making and giving are acts of agency.

And on the macro scale: there will be forms of community care and community organizing that we can do in months and years to come, and they will be more necessary than ever before. And that brings me to the other most useful thing I’ve read this week, 10 ways to be prepared and grounded now that Trump has won, an essay by teacher, activist, and author Daniel Hunter.

He begins by pointing out that after pandemic and insurrection, amidst climate crisis (I would add: after a year of horrors in Israel and Gaza, which have had a deep impact on many of us) we are already exhausted and destabilized. “Authoritarian power is derived from fear of repression, isolation from each other and exhaustion at the utter chaos. We’re already feeling it.” 

His first suggestion? Pay attention to our inner state. Trust our own emotional reality, trust what we know and feel and experience, because authoritarianism thrives by sowing and strengthening mistrust. Before we can begin to face trying to do good in this painful new world, we need to tend to our spiritual lives. We are running on empty. We need to care for our souls.

Some part of me frets, reading this: but there’s so much that’s already broken! And it’s going to get so much worse! Yes, there is, and it is. And that’s exactly why each of us must do everything we can to be steady inside, and to trust our own moral and spiritual compass. Judaism has tools for this. (Shabbat and regular gratitude practices are my first two go-tos on this front.)

Judaism has a lot of tools for this, actually. We are not the first generation of Jews to live through massive upheaval. Or to navigate increasing Christian nationalism. Or to figure out how to maintain our ethic of caring for the vulnerable in a time of rising fascism and authoritarianism. Much of human history has looked like this. Much of the world looks like this now.

And some of Judaism’s tools for this moment are a lot like what Daniel Hunter articulates in his essay. We need to let ourselves grieve, even sit shiva for what could’ve been – because if we don’t, some essential part of us may be frozen in the shock of this week, and that’s not good for us or for the world. We need humility, to recognize the vastness of the things we can’t change.

And then we need to find something we can change, and focus there. As I said to my teenager the morning after the election, we will figure out how we can help people who have it worse than we do. “Yeah, Mom. We’re white, we’re middle-class, we’re cisgender – we’re going to be fine. But other people won’t be.” Our job is always to help people who are more vulnerable than we.

So how are we going to help? Daniel Hunter suggests a quadrant of four possibilities: protecting vulnerable people, civil disobedience of unethical policies, defending our existing civic institutions, and building alternatives to what we know now. Sit with those, and see where your heart pulls you. And know that as you sit with this, you are not alone. We are in this together.

“Go forth,” YHVH says to Abram. Go out into the world and make a difference. Or maybe “Go into yourself,” because that’s another way to translate lekh-lekha – go deep, engage in soul-searching, plumb the depths of who you can be. The beauty of Torah, of course, is that the one phrase can be both at once, and both are instructions we need to take to heart this week.

We don’t know exactly what the future will hold. I don’t expect it to be easy. And yet there will also be joy and celebration and care for one another – because no one can take those away. In Brecht’s words, “even in the dark times there will be singing.” He wrote that in 1939, the year my mother and her parents fled the Nazis for what was then the safe haven of America.

No matter what the coming years hold, we know what our tradition teaches: it’s our job to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the Source of All. (Micah 6:8) It’s our job to care for those who are vulnerable. To help people who have it worse than we do. To stand up for what’s right. That is always Judaism’s call: in the best of times, and in the worst of times. 

This is the d'varling I offered at Kabbalat Shabbat services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

The verses I chose to read this morning come from the very end of our parsha, when Noah and his family have just emerged from the ark. They release all of the animals, and then Noah builds an altar and makes an offering to God. In return, God makes a promise to Noah and implicitly also to us: never again will God attempt to destroy the earth and all who dwell upon it. 

I gravitated toward these verses because they show us Noah and those under his care emerging after the storm. The worst is over. Now they rebuild. I would love to be able to fast-forward to that part in our collective story. Right now, a lot of us feel like we’re battening down the hatches in preparation for… well, we don’t exactly know what’s coming. 

And that’s hard. As my friend R. Jay Michaelson notes (How To Survive This Week), it’s easier to live with a known outcome than an unknown one, and there’s a lot right now that we can’t know. We do know that, according to a recent Axios poll, a majority of Americans expect that there will be violence on / after election day. And that’s scary. So in R. Michaelson’s words,

[I]t’s quite alright to be anxious as hell. It is justified, it is not an illusion, and things have gone very badly in the past. So whatever you do, please don’t scold yourself for not being enlightened, balanced, wise, mindful, rich, or calm enough to not lose your cool. I’ve met dozens of spiritual teachers in my time, and the ones who pretend to be awesome all the time are faking it… to you or themselves or both. 

If you’re feeling anxiety as the election approaches, you’re not alone, and you’re not “doing it wrong.” You’re just in touch with your feelings. (Mazal tov.) R. Michaelson is a teacher of mindfulness and meditation practices, and his essay has some good suggestions for managing our anxiety, so if that sounds helpful to you, check out his writing today.

I can’t tell you how the next week will go, or the weeks that follow. (Though for my part I am trying to ignore the constant breathless reporting on polls. Polls actually don’t tell us what real people are going to do in real time… or how other real people will respond. Life is a giant multivariable experiment and no one can solve in advance for what the future is going to be.) 

(Yes, my teenager is taking algebra II, how’d you guess?

I also can’t tell you the best way to spend this last Shabbes before Election Day. Some of us may need a Shabbat away from these anxieties, a time to rest and allow our souls to be restored. And some of us may need to be “praying with our feet” – knocking on doors (or phone banking or text banking) to make sure people have the information they need to vote. 

As is so often the case, Judaism supports both of these. Taking today to rest and be restored is a very Jewish thing to do! And pounding the pavement after shul to urge full participation in our democracy is also a very Jewish thing to do. You’ll know best what your own soul needs. 

I can tell you that Jewish tradition offers us next steps, no matter what. Feed the hungry, protect the vulnerable, act with integrity and honesty, engage in community life, take care of each other. The mitzvot give us a road map for building toward a better world. That road map is true and enduring, right and real, no matter what happens next week or in the weeks that follow. 

I can tell you that Jewish values call us to choose honesty rather than deceit, hope rather than despair, uplifting others rather than grinding them down. Jewish values call us to kindness, never cruelty. They demand that we love the stranger – the immigrant, the refugee. They invite us to center the pursuit of tzedek / justice and actions of  tikkun olam / repairing our world. 

The thing I don’t like about the story of Noah is that he doesn’t push back against the Divine plan to flood all of creation. He rescues his own family and the animals, as instructed, but he doesn’t say to God, “Wait a minute, aren’t there some innocent people out there?” As my friend and teacher Rabbi Mike Moskowitz writes, justice isn’t justice if it’s “just us.” 

Whatever arks we construct – whatever structures we build together in our community life – need to be big enough and broad enough to uplift everyone. I pray that our government can be an ark that lifts all of us out of harm’s way, that helps all Americans and ultimately all the world live with dignity and safety, not at the mercy of floodwaters whether metaphorical or literal. 

Maybe our task this weekend is to trust that no matter what Flood might arise, we have the spiritual tools we need to help each other through it, and to help those who are more vulnerable than we are through it. Our task is to remember that whatever the coming weeks may bring, we can and will lift each other up as we work toward the promise of the rainbow on the other side.

This is the d'varling I offered at Shabbat morning services at Congregation Beth Israel of the Berkshires (cross-posted to the From the Rabbi blog.)

"Make the ark with rooms and pens."
Include thick creamy paper, soft
as brushed cotton, and enough ink
to write our way through.

None of us asked to be born into
the generation that might lose
everything: not just homes
falling into the waters

from North Carolina to Alaska
but also democracy. Not just
a free press, freedom to be Jewish,
freedom to not be pregnant

but also the capacity to draw
a full breath. Who does that anymore?
God, please tell me that somewhere
on this rickety boat, tucked

beside hay bales or the barrels
for collecting rain, I'll find hope.
We understand the physics
behind rainbows now, but

I'm still holding You to Your promise
that the cycles of day and night
will never again be blotted out
from the face of the earth.

"[Make it an ark with compartments (kinim)” - with rooms (kilin) and pens (medorin).]" Genesis Rabbah 31:9. Yes, I know the original text is referring to animal pens, not fountain pens.

North Carolina to Alaska. I'm thinking of Hurricane Helene on the east coast, and of recent devastating floods in Kotzebue in the far north and west.

But also democracy. See Trump tells supporters they won't have to vote in the future.

A free press. See We must fear for freedom of the press under a second Trump administration.

Freedom to be Jewish. See Trump says Jewish voters will bear 'a lot' of blame if he loses.

Freedom to not be pregnant. See If Trump wins the election, Idaho's extreme abortion ban could go nationwide. 

Capacity to draw / a full breath. See What is the no. 1 leading cause of stress for you?

"Your promise." See Genesis 8:21-22.

Every time I reflexively twitch
toward news or polls or news about polls
I will write a line of poetry instead.
No, that won't be sustainable, I'd write
an infinite poem. Did you know
there are infinities bigger
than infinity? That's how much
we're carrying this season, bursting
through the flimsy walls of our hearts
like the floodwaters we all just saw
on the news I am resolutely not checking.
Every time I stop myself from doomscrolling
I will study some Torah. That might work.
"Turn it and turn it, everything is in it."
If I lift high enough I remember God's
in everything, even the wrong lawn signs.
Still, all mental roads lead here:
anxious and agitated, restless as Cain.
This is a problem as old as humanity,
though the welter of computer monitors
and phone notifications can't help. I almost
wrote minotaurs. I might feel calmer
in a Cretan labyrinth: only one monster.
Uneasy thoughts, I welcome you
like Shabbes guests. You want to warn me
the world is ending? Message received.
Let's root ourselves again in breath.
The moment I turn myself around
I'm no longer lost. Every time is now.

Turn it and turn it. See Pirkei Avot 5:22. 

Restless as Cain. See R. Yisroel Hopstein / the Maggid of Kozhnitz, Sefer Avodat Yisrael, Bereshit.

Anxious thoughts, I welcome you. Thanks for your teaching, R. Sam Feinsmith.

And as always, to my hevruta partner R. David Evan Markus, thank you for learning with me. 

I don't know what to say as this yahrzeit draws near. Last year we woke on Shemini Atzeret / Simhat Torah (the two festivals are celebrated on the same day in Israel and by Reform Jews everywhere; for other Diaspora Jews they fall on subsequent days) to the news of the Hamas massacre. That night we gathered to dance circles around our sanctuaries with our Torahs, shellshocked and uncertain.

Almost Simhat Torah again. How can we dance in a world so broken? And yet how can we not? Jewish history is filled with times of trauma and terror, and we've never let that stop us from cleaving to mitzvot. The Aish Kodesh wrote that even in grief we must open ourselves to whatever joy we can find, and allow joy to flow in and lift us. (He was talking about Purim, but the point stands.)

Last night I was rehearsing with our Simhat Torah band. One of our hakafot (circle dances) will be to the song Bashanah Ha-ba'ah. "You will see, you will see, just how good it will be..." But sometimes it's hard to hold fast to the faith, or the dream, that better days will come. Here, or there, or anywhere. The drumbeat of sorrow and loss and injustice feels relentless. Here, and there, and everywhere.

This path is a deep groove worn in my heart from a year of grieving. I step outside to mail my ballot and I'm startled by how warm the air is, how beautiful the sunlight filtering through yellow leaves. What if I stop trying to find the right words (as though there were right words) that would make meaning out of all of this -- and just let myself be, breathing here, in the beauty of the broken world?