With apologies to Dr. Seuss. And Rambam.
November 10, 2008
This morning, while studying Rambam, my hevruta partner and I got a little bit punchy. The ins and outs of when one should and should not make a recitation of the shema (called kriat shema) are arcane and detailed. Whether and how to recite the shema at the top of a tree, on a construction site, riding on a donkey, atop a wall: there are halakhic answers to all of these and more.
"It makes me think of Dr. Seuss," I quipped. "Would you, could you, in the rain? Would you, could you, on a train?" Okay, maybe it's only funny to us, but we were rolling on the floor. So I figured I'd share.
KRIAT SHEMA
(With apologies to Dr. Seuss. And also Rambam. And my friend Yafa, who had nothing to do with this at all; her name just happens to rhyme.)
I'm the Rav
Call me Yafa.
That Yafa!
That Yafa!
I do not say
kriat shema!
Do you say kriat shema?
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Would you say it here or there?
I would not say it anywhere.
I do not say kriat shema
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Would you say it on a boat?
Would you say it in a moat?
I would not say it on a boat.
I would not say it in a moat.
I do not say it here or there.
I do not say it anywhere.
I do not say kriat shema
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Would you say it in a box?
Would you say it with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not say it here or there.
I do not say it anywhere.
I do not say kriat shema
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Say it! Say it!
Here we are!
I would not, could not, in a car.
You may say it.
You will see.
You may say it in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not say it in a box.
I do not say it with a fox.
I do not say it in a house.
I do not say it with a mouse.
I do not say it here or there.
I do not say it anywhere.
I do not say kriat shema.
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you, on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Oy, let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not say it with a mouse.
I will not say it in a house.
I will not say it here or there.
I will not say it anywhere.
I do not say kriat shema.
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Say!
In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not say it, don't you see?
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not say it here or there.
I do not say it anywhere!
You do not say kriat shema?
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
Could you, would you, with a goat?
I would not, could not, with a goat!
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not say it in the rain.
I will not say it on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not say it in a box.
I do not say it with a fox.
I will not say it in a house.
I do not say it with a mouse.
I do not say it here or there.
I do not say it ANYWHERE!
I do not say kriat shema.
I do not say it, Reb Yafa.
You do not say it.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Oy!
If you will let me be
I will try it.
You will see.
...
Say!
I like saying kriat shema!
I do! I like it, Reb Yafa!
And I would say in a boat.
And I would say it with a goat...
And I will say it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It's so good, so good, you see!
So I will say it in a box.
And I will say it with a fox.
And I will say it in a house.
And I will say it with a mouse.
And I will say it here and there.
Say! I will say it ANYWHERE!
I do so like
kriat shema!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Reb Yafa!
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